S. L'Gree
2004-09-27 23:07:19 UTC
"What kind of job is that fo' a black man", was what I heard one day after
coming out of a downtown Boston deli. Some homie who clearly didn't work was
informing his fat girlfriend how he disapproved of the fact that a black guy
was working behind a sandwich counter. This was perplexing to me since I
would never look down or disparage anyone for the legitimate work they do.
All legitimate work is honorable but to this crack huffing bum it was
pathetic. Why work when you can live off public assistance and commit petty
crimes? I wanted to ask homie what he felt was appropriate work for a "black
man" but that was a waste of breath because I already knew what he thought
was appropriate. Let's see there's rapping, basketball and crime.
Now every homie pretends that he is all three of these things. We can see
this in his dress, language and general deportment but very few homies can
become rappers or B-ballers and with white boys like Eminem and all these
European ballers it's getting increasing tight in the field. Crime is always
a viable alternative but even most homies don't have the stomach for this
kind of work because it requires effort. So what we have is about 99.99999%
of the worlds homies that don't do shit, live with their mothers or
grandmothers well into their 50's, spend good chunks of their lives
incarcerated or rely on the mercy of the social service industry. What we
have here is a helpless and feckless man-child completely incapable of
surviving in the 21st century with out the welfare handout.
In spite of this life devoid of purpose or meaning homie is still acutely
aware of all the oh so important and subtle nuances of ghetto culture that
must be strictly adhered to. This is homie's raison d'etre. This is the only
conceivable reason I can see for homie rolling out of bed every day at noon.
Of course staying abreast of the latest ghetto values and trends cost money
and public assistance and it's myriad of handouts isn't enough to cover the
expenses. Remember pimping ain't easy and it ain't cheap either. So in order
for homie to make ends meets he must somehow earn money with out having to
be tied down to an office, a time clock and specific responsibilities. In
other words homie doesn't want to be an adult. So homie must seek out
employment in alternative fields. You know, jobs more appropriate for a
"black man". Here's our short list of homie-approved jobs for those
interested in careers off the beaten path.
Street Dancing
All homies are obligated to keep up on the latest dance moves. While a white
kid is cramming for the SATs his homie counterpart is home practicing dance
moves in front of a mirror. Whoa to the homie who breaks out a dance move
that is not sanctioned within the narrow confines of ghetto culture. Since
homie loves to dance and while he is young enough to do so with some gusto
he may as well make some money off it. This is why you always see a bunch of
homies break dancing for white people in downtown areas. Stupid whites are
only more than happy to part with their money to see homie dance and then
comment about how "those coloreds really have rhythm" You'd have rhythm to
if you poured 110% of your energy in the latest dance move as opposed to
work and family. Closely related to dancing are various tricks, stunts and
banging out rhythms on plastic buckets. I use to run into this homie that
would run up a brick wall and then do a flip for a dollar. He did this all
day long and put great energy into this stunt. What amazed me about this was
what length homies go to in order to avoid real work. I only gave this guy
money once. On assenting up a brick wall he lost his footing and came down
on his head, bleeding everywhere. I gave him a quarter.
Panhandling
This of course is a fancy word for begging. This is another perfectly
appropriate non-traditional career option for homie. There is no shame in
begging since homie rationalizes this as getting one over on the man.
Besides homie's whole life revolves around begging and handouts in one-way
or another. More industrious homies have some poorly constructed sob story
about needing bus fare or a bowl of soup. It works well on terrified whites
from the suburbs that have never actually encountered a colored person. They
practically hand these homies their wallets and then run away in fear. Later
over Dubonet and crustless cucumber sandwiches they can brag to their
friends about their new found street cred. But back to the begging. Many
homies have simply given up on the sob story or the shucking, jiving and
goofing that go along with begging from whites. These are the types that
simply sit there jiggling a Styrofoam cup filled with change as if this
demanded some sort of action from the working public. Amazingly people do
respond and drop change into their cups. Other homies are more aggressive
about begging. These are usually the grown men that accost teenagers and
women demanding a dollar. Recently some homies have used their own children
here in Boston to walk up to cars at intersections with tin cans and
matching t-shirts begging for some fictitious church or sports team. There
is no depth that homie won't sink to in order to avoiding earning money via
work.
Windshield Washing
What a deal this is. Homie pounces on your car at an intersection and wipes
down your windshield. I have never given anyone a penny for this and have
chased homies away from the intersection for touching my car. It might not
be so bad if they actually cleaned your windshield but they never do. They
always make it dirtier than it was to begin with. Of course it's not about
providing a service and getting paid for it. It's about getting a handout
under the guise of work. Once again homie relies heavily on horrified and
gullible whites from the suburbs to fork it over.
Loitering
Yes loitering. It may look like loafing to you but homie has turned
loitering into an art form. Loitering is the gateway to a variety of
different non-traditional enterprises that homie relies on to supplement his
welfare benefits. This is why homie groups always fight any legislation
about anti-loitering laws. Homies are an outdoor people and weather
permitting they love to stand on corners seemingly doing nothing but ask any
beat cop why homie loves to loiter and you'll get the real picture.
Loitering is really nothing more than a front for homies most favored non
traditional from of work: Dealing in stolen and illicit products. The
loitering homie is the middleman of the ghetto economy. Drugs and stolen
items always find their way to some street corner where runners distribute
the wares into the ghetto economy. It's the one stop shopping for homie and
all his need. Need some crack? A DVD Player? X-Box? New sneakers? A firearm?
Well get your ass down to the street corner and loiter. Why be a lowly
ghetto consumer when you to can be a ghetto retailer.
http://moynihaninstitute.org/page_31.html
coming out of a downtown Boston deli. Some homie who clearly didn't work was
informing his fat girlfriend how he disapproved of the fact that a black guy
was working behind a sandwich counter. This was perplexing to me since I
would never look down or disparage anyone for the legitimate work they do.
All legitimate work is honorable but to this crack huffing bum it was
pathetic. Why work when you can live off public assistance and commit petty
crimes? I wanted to ask homie what he felt was appropriate work for a "black
man" but that was a waste of breath because I already knew what he thought
was appropriate. Let's see there's rapping, basketball and crime.
Now every homie pretends that he is all three of these things. We can see
this in his dress, language and general deportment but very few homies can
become rappers or B-ballers and with white boys like Eminem and all these
European ballers it's getting increasing tight in the field. Crime is always
a viable alternative but even most homies don't have the stomach for this
kind of work because it requires effort. So what we have is about 99.99999%
of the worlds homies that don't do shit, live with their mothers or
grandmothers well into their 50's, spend good chunks of their lives
incarcerated or rely on the mercy of the social service industry. What we
have here is a helpless and feckless man-child completely incapable of
surviving in the 21st century with out the welfare handout.
In spite of this life devoid of purpose or meaning homie is still acutely
aware of all the oh so important and subtle nuances of ghetto culture that
must be strictly adhered to. This is homie's raison d'etre. This is the only
conceivable reason I can see for homie rolling out of bed every day at noon.
Of course staying abreast of the latest ghetto values and trends cost money
and public assistance and it's myriad of handouts isn't enough to cover the
expenses. Remember pimping ain't easy and it ain't cheap either. So in order
for homie to make ends meets he must somehow earn money with out having to
be tied down to an office, a time clock and specific responsibilities. In
other words homie doesn't want to be an adult. So homie must seek out
employment in alternative fields. You know, jobs more appropriate for a
"black man". Here's our short list of homie-approved jobs for those
interested in careers off the beaten path.
Street Dancing
All homies are obligated to keep up on the latest dance moves. While a white
kid is cramming for the SATs his homie counterpart is home practicing dance
moves in front of a mirror. Whoa to the homie who breaks out a dance move
that is not sanctioned within the narrow confines of ghetto culture. Since
homie loves to dance and while he is young enough to do so with some gusto
he may as well make some money off it. This is why you always see a bunch of
homies break dancing for white people in downtown areas. Stupid whites are
only more than happy to part with their money to see homie dance and then
comment about how "those coloreds really have rhythm" You'd have rhythm to
if you poured 110% of your energy in the latest dance move as opposed to
work and family. Closely related to dancing are various tricks, stunts and
banging out rhythms on plastic buckets. I use to run into this homie that
would run up a brick wall and then do a flip for a dollar. He did this all
day long and put great energy into this stunt. What amazed me about this was
what length homies go to in order to avoid real work. I only gave this guy
money once. On assenting up a brick wall he lost his footing and came down
on his head, bleeding everywhere. I gave him a quarter.
Panhandling
This of course is a fancy word for begging. This is another perfectly
appropriate non-traditional career option for homie. There is no shame in
begging since homie rationalizes this as getting one over on the man.
Besides homie's whole life revolves around begging and handouts in one-way
or another. More industrious homies have some poorly constructed sob story
about needing bus fare or a bowl of soup. It works well on terrified whites
from the suburbs that have never actually encountered a colored person. They
practically hand these homies their wallets and then run away in fear. Later
over Dubonet and crustless cucumber sandwiches they can brag to their
friends about their new found street cred. But back to the begging. Many
homies have simply given up on the sob story or the shucking, jiving and
goofing that go along with begging from whites. These are the types that
simply sit there jiggling a Styrofoam cup filled with change as if this
demanded some sort of action from the working public. Amazingly people do
respond and drop change into their cups. Other homies are more aggressive
about begging. These are usually the grown men that accost teenagers and
women demanding a dollar. Recently some homies have used their own children
here in Boston to walk up to cars at intersections with tin cans and
matching t-shirts begging for some fictitious church or sports team. There
is no depth that homie won't sink to in order to avoiding earning money via
work.
Windshield Washing
What a deal this is. Homie pounces on your car at an intersection and wipes
down your windshield. I have never given anyone a penny for this and have
chased homies away from the intersection for touching my car. It might not
be so bad if they actually cleaned your windshield but they never do. They
always make it dirtier than it was to begin with. Of course it's not about
providing a service and getting paid for it. It's about getting a handout
under the guise of work. Once again homie relies heavily on horrified and
gullible whites from the suburbs to fork it over.
Loitering
Yes loitering. It may look like loafing to you but homie has turned
loitering into an art form. Loitering is the gateway to a variety of
different non-traditional enterprises that homie relies on to supplement his
welfare benefits. This is why homie groups always fight any legislation
about anti-loitering laws. Homies are an outdoor people and weather
permitting they love to stand on corners seemingly doing nothing but ask any
beat cop why homie loves to loiter and you'll get the real picture.
Loitering is really nothing more than a front for homies most favored non
traditional from of work: Dealing in stolen and illicit products. The
loitering homie is the middleman of the ghetto economy. Drugs and stolen
items always find their way to some street corner where runners distribute
the wares into the ghetto economy. It's the one stop shopping for homie and
all his need. Need some crack? A DVD Player? X-Box? New sneakers? A firearm?
Well get your ass down to the street corner and loiter. Why be a lowly
ghetto consumer when you to can be a ghetto retailer.
http://moynihaninstitute.org/page_31.html